Monday, August 6, 2012

On Being Adequate



Are you the parent/caregiver of someone with disabilities? Some days it does feels hopeless. Some days are repetitively frustrating.  Some days are exhaustively exasperating. 

I love when I find “new” truths in God’s word. No matter how many times I read Scripture, it's awesome that I always stumble upon something that I’d overlooked in the past.

Take II Corinthians 3:4-6 for instance. “...such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate a servants...”

Did God write that just for me, knowing that I would one day be a mom of a child with FASD?

Or did He write it for my son who has FASD?

I am NOT adequate in myself. I struggle daily asking God, “why me???”.

Not in a feeling sorry for myself kind of way, but in a sincere lack of self-confidence voice, being overwhelmed with the enormous, all-consuming responsibility that is involved in raising a child with FASD and disabilities.   Now I read these verses and it hits me: I don’t need to worry about it because I - in my own strength - am not adequate, nor will I ever be adequate.

BUT GOD. I love that phrase in scripture. BUT ...  It means, stop worrying and fretting because just ahead, in the next sentence, there will be an amazing unexplainable, almost incomprehensible truth, that will eliminate all need for doubt if it is just believed and acted upon. So take a deep breath at the “but” and read on….."but my adequacy is from God who also made me adequate as a servant”.

There it is, plain and simple, written forever in black and white. My adequacy is from God!

Therein lies my confidence. I can parent this child because God made me adequate.  And not only did He make me adequate, He specifically made me adequate as a servant.  The definition of  “servant” holds another one of those Greek mysteries which the English language has demolished. It does not mean servile as a slave, but voluntary as an attendant, a reference to the service or advantage rendered to another (as in menial tasks).

I’ve been pondering the implication of these verses for days. My role as the mother of a child with FASD and disabilities is so clearly defined in these verses.

Could there be a more accurate description of what a parent of a child with FASD does than act as an attendant and perform menial tasks. I think not. I am my son’s external brain! I daily assist him with the most menial tasks...
Yes, the underpants go on before the shorts. 
Yes, the milk always goes in the fridge.
Really! There is this thing in our house called a toilet.
No, you cannot play in the snow in just a swimsuit.

Are you the parent/caregiver of someone with disabilities? Some days it feels hopeless. Some days are repetitively frustrating.  Some days are exhaustively exasperating.

Be encouraged that your life is an “advantage rendered to another”. Yes, YOU are adequate to take care of your child! YOU are a blessing.

Find strength and meaning in this: “Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate a servants...”