Tuesday, June 11, 2013

A Matter of Perspective

Three days ago I logged on to my MacJournal and wrote an entry about celebrating the 10 years of my Boy Wonders life. Reminiscing and laughing over all the precious moments we’ve shared with him.

Little did I know just a few short hours after writing that entry, I would be in a clinic listening to a doctor attempting to diagnosis my sons allergic reaction, telling myself to breathe calmly without panic, all the while mentally praying, begging God to spare Boy Wonders life. Nor did I realize that I would spend half of the next day, and the following, back at the clinic while my boy was being given an IV and heavy doses of antibiotics to aggressively combat the infection raging through his lymph nodes. All because of this little plant.

Oh how life changes so quickly.

Here I am 2 days later, biting my tongue, ready to send him to the woodshed and give him a smack on his rump, while he is screaming at the top of his lungs, melting down. He’s angry because something didn’t go his way; he’s frustrated he can’t get his air rocket out of a 75 foot tall pine tree. When I approach him while calling his name, he looks at me and blatantly ignores me as he angrily throws rocks at the street and treehouse. When I ask him to come in and calm down on the step, he stomps and screams and rips the ace-bandages and sling from his arm. When I ask him to move outside to the back porch step until he is calm, he rages and kicks all the patio furniture and rips his clothing. When I attempt to talk to him he screams at me in frustration.

Oh how life changes so quickly.

He’s on the back patio screaming; I’m in the kitchen fuming and talking to God… “Seriously God, I was begging and pleading with You just days ago to save this childs life. I went 3 nights with no sleep, constantly monitoring his breathing and temperature. For this?!? Really!?!“  A few other conversations raced through my mind while I was attempting to make a decent dinner for our family, get my husband ready to leave town, pay attention to lil brother…and now drop everything to deal with the hysteria of Boy Wonder who lost his toy rocket. Big sigh. Big complaints going through my head. Big sacrifices I make for this child. I don’t deserve this.

Then a still small voice from God whispered to me, “Wait a minute, dear girl, you're looking at this all wrong. Instead of rationalizing that three days ago you were begging for his life and now you're angry at him for throwing your plans out of sync again, you need to change your thoughts and have a new perspective.  You should be thinking, “I blessed you. I saved your sons life. Why are you pulling your hair out over this? I saved his life because I need you to guide him in the days ahead.  I need you to think eternally. This two hour long meltdown is just a small scene on the landscape canvas I’m painting of your son’s life. This too shall pass. Put your boots on: you're going in. This is a moment of grace and sacrificial love you are able to give to Boy Wonder. Don’t miss it.”

Oh how life changes so quickly.

I went to bed praying for a bigger perspective, for more grace, for deeper love, for a thankful heart to count my blessings while I have them.