I'm continuing to lay stones of remembrance each step of this new journey. I want wildflowers to grow in unexpected places. I want to learn to praise him when dark trials come and fill my heart with fear.
Excerpts from my journals this past week:
August 21, 2017
Starting a new week with a new song in my heart:
When the morning falls on the farthest hill
I will sing His name, I will praise Him, still
When dark trials come and my heart is filled
With the weight of doubt, I will praise Him, still
For the Lord, our God, He is strong to save
From the arms of death, from the deepest grave,
And He gave us life in His perfect will,
And by His good grace, i will praise Him still.
(credit Fernando Ortega)
August 22, 2017
Today was really exhausting. I'm just being honest, stopping my Bio-HRT is making this journey so hard. While Rock Star is mostly stepping up and helping out, Boy Wonder is falling apart. Each is coping in his own way right now. And I get it. It's not easy to grasp. And my emotions are taking a dive. You DO NOT want to be in our house right now.
Menopausal mom with Rock Star and Boy Wonder both hitting those teen hormones. Today, I feel more like throwing a stone of remembrance, not laying one down.
August 27, 2017
At church this morning Ben Fleming talked about "Doxology" in the Psalms. I'm paraphrasing what he said but it comes down to this:
"Doxology isn't based on my life circumstance or situation, but on God and who He always is."
Stop for a moment and let that sink in.