Continuing to share some excerpts from my journals over the past few weeks. Learning to look for more stones of remembrance along the way.
The God of all comfort is who I cling to in these moments. He is the only hope for those living with disabilities. He will see me through this temporary disability just as he continues to do for my child's permanent disability.
Today was filled with much doubt and nagging fear, thoughts such as this cannot be happening and how am I supposed to handle this. Maybe it's all the hormones, maybe its the boys being cooped up inside and unable to breathe because of smoke filled skies, maybe it's the days of waiting for what is unknown. Today was just all around depressing.
Tonight I read Psalm 43:5 "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God"
I will not allow this cancer to cast me down and bring so much turmoil into my life that I miss moments with my family. Hope, not worry. Live in the gratitude of the moment, because the next moment is not guaranteed.
September 1, 2017
This morning we met with Dr. H for my pre-op appointment. He did an ultra-sound to show us where the cancer is appearing. It looks hopeful that it is not spreading. Now the countdown to September 12 begins.
In the afternoon we escaped town to head to the coast for fresh air. I need ocean therapy. And Boy Wonder absolutely thrives in the sand and salt water, where every sensory craving he has is blissfully and continually met.