Monday, August 8, 2011

Fighting the Force against my Jedi's

Is it just me or does the creator of Star Wars Lego Wii have a vendetta against moms?

Nothing pulls my children to the dark side faster than this game on the Wii. Every virtue, every character trait we have spent years instilling is suddenly gone...destroyed...wiped out in a matter of moments, just like the Death Star.

They pick up the remote and the frustration begins to build. They yell at the screen. They yell at each other. They swing the remote and jump around the room, anxiety building with each passing swipe and jab.

Seriously, what is the point? Somehow, by some miraculous power of the force, we managed to get through a level...only to have a message appear 1 of 160 levels. What?!? I almost started swearing.

Who created a Lego game, targeted toward 4-8 year olds, with no pause button? No save game mid-play button. No "stop now because mom said its dinner time" pause feature. It's insane! Really.

I have yet to meet a mom who likes what the game does to her children. We're talking screaming hysterics on the floor, red-faced sobbing, wild banshee dancing & yelling, kill your sibling mentality that just consumes the child. Did the devil himself create this game?

And don't give me the line that it says E-10 on the box....whatever! There is not a 5 year old out there with a Wiii in the home who doesn't have this game or isn't begging for this game. Its marketed towards them. For crying out loud: it's a LEGO game!

Lego's and Star Wars combined. You'd think my children had found heaven on earth when I brought home this game. Two of their absolute most favorite things ever to do. And then we opened it. Then we took off the plastic wrapper amidst squeals of delight, hugs of thanks, repeated phrases of adoration and love for the mother who so blessed them with this wonder of a game. Then we played it for an hour. And the tears began. The blood pressure began to creep. The sin nature of man became far too apparent in my children's bodies. Angry swipes at siblings. Stomps of frustrations.

Finally, as queen of everything, I set the timer for 5 minutes and began the countdown to shut off. Oh how the world came to an end!

We tried this again on a different day. The dark side had officially taken over my children.

But this mom is no padawan. They were messing with the wrong Jedi here. I simply took the game away. Forever. Fifty bucks gone like that. Thanks for nothing Lego.

But peace reigns again in my home. And I am amazed most of all that I am not alone: I heard the praise rising from the homes of many of the moms I know who also have had this game in their home. We are banding together and striking back.

Good bye evil Empire, may you rest in peace in a galaxy far, far away and never return to my home again.

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